メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。
積極的に望まなくても、ただ生活をしているだけで、私たちの周りにはさまざまなことが起き、それに巻き込まれてストレスを感じ疲弊したり、巻き込まれなくても影響を受けて気分を波立たせたりします。
今回から＜認知＞＜自動思考／自分にある自動思考＞＜自動思考を検証する＞と３回に分けて、わかりやすく認知三昧でお話します。
まず、認知が変わると反応が変わることのわかりやすい例を挙げてみます。この場面ではあたなは妻だと考えてください。
例：帰宅した夫が眉間にシワを寄せ、険しい顔をしている。
あなたは、『家事もやったし頼まれた支払いも済ませた』『やましいところもない』のであれば、夫に対し『仕事で疲れたのかな』『何か嫌なことがあったのかな』と考え、「大丈夫？先にお風呂に入ってリラックスしたらどう？」と自然体で言えるでしょう。
これが、出かける前に大ゲンカしていたとなると、『まーだ怒ってる』『私のこと責めてるのかも』『まさか離婚なんて言い出さないよね？』と考え、どう話しかけていいのかわからなくなったり、腫れ物に触るようにぎこちなくなってしまうのではないでしょうか。
夫の“険しい表情”に対し、あなた自身がどう意味づけするのか？は、その状況によって変わりませんか？この、“状況によるあなたの意味づけ”の仕方は、
あなたの普段からの認知の“クセ”により決められる
ことが多いのです。何度か認知についてお話していますが、
認知とは、ものの見方、考え方、受け止め方
です。この、“その人が持つ認知の特徴（偏り／歪み）”が、思っているよりはるかに気分や行動に影響を及ぼすものなのです。（【図１】）
次にワークシートを書いてみましょう。ここでは仕事を例に挙げてみましょう。
こんな感じでしょうか。このように自分の状況を視覚化してみるために【図２】のワークシートを使用します。
◇
次に自分がどのようなことを良い（心地良い）と感じ、どのようなことを嫌だ（不快）と感じるのか、考え方の傾向も視覚化してみましょう。
下の下線部に自分の気持ち（感情）を書き出してみてください。幾つでも構いませんが、一つ以上は書いてください。
- 裏切られると、私は（ ）
- 誰かに怒られると、私は（ ）
- 褒められると、私は（ ）
- 約束の時間を大きく超えて遅刻されると、私は（ ）
- 見知らぬ人ばかりの中に入ると、私は（ ）
- 自分のことを理解してくれている人に対し、私は（ ）
- 自分のことばかり話している人を見ると、私は（ ）
- 偉そうに振る舞う人を見ると、私は（ ）
- 理不尽だと感じることが起きると、私は（ ）
- 好意を向けている人がいると、私は（ ）
- 無視されると、私は（ ）
- 自分にではなくても、誰かが怒鳴っていると、私は（ ）
- 電車内で激しく泣く赤ん坊を抱いた母親に対し、私は（ ）
- 列に横入りされると、私は（ ）
これは正誤のない問いで、どのようなこと（時）に自分はどのような気持ちになるのかを、“自分がわかるように視覚化”し、少しだけ自分を客観視してもらうための問いです。
◇
＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞
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