メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。
２回目となる今回は【一般的承認】【集団的承認】についてからスタートします。
一般的承認は自分で自分を評価する＜自己承認＞、集団的承認とは他者から評価される＜他者承認＞になります。
「あの人は承認欲求強いよね」と言われる人が欲しがるのは【集団的承認】です。ＳＮＳで「いいね！」がたくさん欲しい人、インスタグラムでせっせとリア充っぷりをアピールしたい人が良い例です。
集団的承認欲求が強い人は自己顕示欲が強く、注目を浴びたい目立ちたがりが多い反面、誰か（他者）に自分を認めて（承認）してもらわなければ不安になりやすい特徴も持ち合わせています。
他者に認めて（承認）もらいたいがために、自分を取り繕ったり我慢し過ぎるのも自分に自信がない表れと言えます。
また、自己愛が強すぎる人も承認欲求が強い傾向にあります。わざわざブランド品に囲まれた部屋や、恋人と高級レストランでの食事、貰った高級なプレゼント、高級車や海外旅行などリア充っぷりをアピールしてみたり、大昔のヤンキー時代（死語？）の犯罪紛い、もしくは思いっきり犯罪の痛々しい武勇伝を恥ずかし気もなく「昔は俺もヤンチャだった」と自慢気に語ってみたりします。
見ている側は滑稽でも「集団的承認により他者承認欲求を満たしてるんだね〜、なるほどなるほど」となま暖かく見守るのが大人な対応かもしれません。
私は「それもういいや、お腹いっぱい！」と大人気ないシオシオな塩対応をしていますが（笑）
◇
自己承認欲求は自分を自分で認めたい（承認したい）欲求で一般的承認欲求です。“誰か（他者）”に自分を認めてほしいと思うのではなく、“自分自身”が自分を認めたい、という欲求です。
自分は自分のままで価値のある存在である、と自認できることは、自己肯定感、自尊感情、自己信頼感に繋がり人が成長する上で欠かせない重要な要素です。
自己承認欲求に対し他者から注目を浴びたい、羨ましがられたい、尊敬されたい、名誉名声がほしい、を他者承認欲求と言います。
他者承認欲求（集団的承認）が強い人は自己承認欲求が低い場合が多く、他者依存の欲求は自己承認欲求よりも低次欲求と言われています。
行き過ぎ膨らんだ他者承認欲求は問題ですが、他者承認欲求も人には必要な欲求であり、自己承認欲求と他者承認欲求が満たされることが自己肯定感へと繋がります。
自己の存在意義や価値を他者から承認されることが間接的に自己肯定にも繋がるので、自己承認欲求と他者承認欲求は切っても切り離せない関係にあるのです。
◇
本年のコラムの掲載は２０２１年１２月２５日土曜日までとさせていただきます。来年は２０２２年１月１０日月曜日から掲載し、その後は５の倍数日に掲載してまいります。
＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞
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