認知スタイルから見えてくるもの＜２＞

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

前回は自罰的な人についてお話をしましたが、今回は他罰的な人についてお話しようと思います。

自罰的な人は「自分は本当にどうしようもない」「上手くいかないのは自分が悪いからなんだ」と責任の刃が自分に向かい、自分を責めてしまい、自己肯定感が低いので立ち直りに時間がかかりますが、他罰的な人は、思いどおりの結果にならなかった時や失敗、不安や不愉快な気持ちになった時、環境や他者のせいにし、“他者を責める人”で、刃は他者に向かいます。また、他責なので、同じ過ちを繰り返すことが多くなります。

この【他罰的】な認知、周囲に「自分勝手」「偉そう」と嫌われやすい面と、その認知が行き過ぎた時には思いもよらない危険な行動に繋がりやすいのでかなり厄介です。

「俺の前に割り込んだ“あのクルマ”が悪い」は煽り運転に繋がりますし、「偉そうに文句言った“あいつ”が悪い」と他者に暴力を振るう、もっと身近なところだと「遅刻したのは“お母さん”が起こしてくれなかったから」だったり、「話してもわからないのは“あいつ”がバカだからだ」がわかりやすいと思います。

他罰的な人は、“上手くいったら自分の手柄（おかげ）、上手くいかなかったら誰かのせい（環境のせい）”という人が多いのも特徴で、この認知のせいで嫌われ孤立しがちです。

それはそうですよね。何か起こると環境のせい、上手くいかないと、不快な出来事があって納得いかないと他者のせいにするのですから。

ここまでで何か気付くことはありませんか？

そう、自罰的な人は“引き受けなくてもいい責任まで引き受け、自分のせいではないかと苦しみ自信をなくし”、周りからは面倒な人と映り、他罰的な人は、自らに責任があっても他者（あるいは環境）のせいにし、何も責任を引き受けず、内省もしないから同じ過ちを繰り返す、です。

どちらも人間関係においては躓きやすく、関係は拗れやすくなります。これも認知からくるものです。

無罰的な人は何事が起こっても、「自分のせいでは？」とも「あいつのせいだ」とも思わず、何とか気を紛らわし、やり過ごそうとするタイプです。

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＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞

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