メンヘラという泥沼世界【１】

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

当時２ちゃんねるのメンタルヘルス板から生まれた２ちゃん用語の“メンヘラ”。耳慣れなかったこの言葉も市民権を得て随分経つので、耳にしたことがある人が多いのではないでしょうか。

今はメンヘラに加え、ヤンデレという言葉もあり、わざわざ“泣き腫らしたような目元”を演出する病みメイクなるものもあるようです。これが男心をどう刺激するのかはわかりません。

適当に泣いて目を擦れば良いのでは？と思ってしまう、そんな私はどんな流行にもいつも周回遅れです。

そして、世の中にはなぜか一定数メンヘラ／ヤンデレ好きが存在しています。

病的な依存や見捨てられ不安からくる束縛、試し行為「私だけを見てッ！」を一途と捉えるのであれば一途と言えないこともない・・・かもしれないですし、メンタル不安定なのを“守ってあげたい”、“自分が何とかしてあげたい／しなきゃ”と捉えると父性本能や何らかの保護欲を刺激されたりする・・・のかもしれません。

“メンヘラ”・“ヤンデレ”、どちらも医学用語ではないので当然診断名はありません。医学的にはっきりした定義はありませんが、主訴やさまざまな症状を繋ぎ合わせ、何とかして診断名を付けざるを得ないので、大概はタイプが幾つかに分かれている【パーソナリティー障害】の何か、多くが生育環境において親子関係に何らかの問題を抱えたまま成長し、人間関係に躓きやすさを持つ【アタッチメント不全／愛着障害】などと記載されます。

メンヘラとは状況次第で誰もが陥る可能性がある“鬱”のようなものではなく、独特の認知（の歪み）からくる、これまた独特の行動様式がある、と考えます。

今回はメンヘラやヤンデレがなぜ出来上がるのか？という原因部分ではなく、表面化しやすい行動や思考を考えてみます。気が向けばいつか原因と考えられる部分についても書くかもしれません。

公私問わず、今までに多くの“メンヘラ”と思われる人たちと関わってきましたが、彼らには必ず共通することがあります。

  • 強い執着／依存
  • 何らかの依存症→アルコール・ギャンブル・セックス・ゲーム・ＳＮＳ・買い物など
  • 見捨てられ不安
  • 試し行為
  • 空虚感と孤独感
  • 自殺念慮
  • 自傷行為→ＯＤ（オーバードーズ／薬の過剰摂取）、リストカットやそれに準ずるもの
  • 承認欲求の強さ
  • 傷付き恐怖
  • 被害者意識
  • 感情コントロール不可能
  • 思い込みの強さ
  • 対人関係の不安定さ
  • 地雷（？）を踏み抜いてしまった時の激しい行動化

などです。一見するとなかなかドラマチックな人生を送っているように見えるのですが、その渦に巻き込まれる距離にいると、底なし沼にズブズブと足を取られ、あっという間に共依存の罠にはまります。

共存、共生と違い、共依存は病的な関係です。

恋愛関係においてメンヘラが求める関係は究極の二者間関係が多く、友人関係を破壊され、社会的に孤立し、仕事さえ行けず、まさに“ふたりだけの世界”に持ち込まれた例も少なくありません。

「死にたい」「生きている意味がわからない」「誰からも必要とされない」「私なんかいないほうがいい」「本当は私のこと愛してないんでしょ」と、事あるごとにループし、答え方を間違えると（こう答えてほしい、という彼らなりの解を間違えること）、それ以外は揚げ足を取るようなエンドレスなやり取りで話の矛先がコロコロ変わって泥沼化、激怒スイッチオン、家出や自傷スタートのいずれかにシフトします。

のべつまくなしのラインや電話（鬼ライン、鬼電というらしい）、血まみれリストカット画像の送信、いきなりの「さようなら」はあまりにも有名なよくアルアルです。

次回は過去に最強メンヘラな彼女に振り回された経験と、なぜ彼女がそのような行動を取るようになったのかを【２】【３】に分けてお話しようと思います。

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＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞

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