⚠︎：発達障害は先天的な脳の発達の偏りなので、親の躾や環境、また、本人のせいでもありません。発達障害をややこしくしているのは、無理解、無知からくる不適切な対応などでさまざまな神経症や精神疾患を併発したことによる二次障害といえます。
メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。
生きづらさを感じ「なぜ僕はこんなにポンコツなの？生きてるのがつらい」と泣くこともある、発達障害重複持ちの息子を育てている一人の母親として、“発達障害はハンデにならない”、“個性的なことは素晴らしいこと”などと聞くと、正直なところ「なに無責任に綺麗事言っているんだか」と思ってしまいます。
多様性を叫んでもイマイチ理解が進まない日本ですが、百歩譲って“個性的なことは素晴らしい”は良しとするにしても、日常生活でかなり困り感があり、時間管理がガバガバで先の見通しが立てられず、狭い範囲ですらしょっちゅう物がなくなり、ヤル気が起きないことは先送りして結果忘却の彼方へ追いやられ、自室やバッグはカオス。実行機能の弱さから、計画立案は得意でも途中で放り出すか、そもそも実行すらしなかったり、独特の認知から傷つきやすさを常に抱え、冗談も通じない・・・感情的になりやすく人間関係に問題を抱えがちです。
これのどこが『ハンデにならない』なんて無責任なことを言えるのでしょうか？
特別支援や個別配慮をしなくてはならない発達障害特別支援法があっても、現実の教育現場では教師の仕事量は増加の一途を辿り疲弊、正しい知識や理解が足りず圧倒的に人員も足りていません。増え続ける発達障害児やグレーゾーンに対し支援級は足りておらず、授業を抜けて校区を跨いで支援級に通級しなくてはいけない現実。
◇
社会に出ると言わずもがな手帳がなければなかなか個別配慮には繋がりません。たまたま職場や人に恵まれ配慮してもらえることもありますが、それは幸運なケースだと言えます。自分の特性を理解し受け入れていなければ、口頭や文書でも配慮をお願いすることすらハードルが高く、コミュニケーションに課題があるとそれを上手く伝えることも難しいのです。
抽象的な理解が苦手でマルチタスクに対応できないので指示は具体的に一つずつお願いします、と伝えなければ、当たり前に大多数の人が出来るであろう抽象的な伝え方でマルチタスクを活用しなくてはできない仕事の指示を与えられます。それで何度言われても出来なければ、残酷にも「使えない」「使いにくい」「だらしない」「無能」と陰口を叩かれ、パワハラ体質な上司や組織だと面と向かって言われるかもしれません。退職へと追いやられることも考えられます。
常に生きづらさがある息子は「ハンデにはならない」なんて「何の慰めにもならない、余計惨めになる」と怒りを爆発させていました。
根拠のない自信には満ち溢れているので自己評価は高いくせに自己肯定感は低めの息子に、普段から否定的なダメ出しはしておらず「頑張っても出来ないことがあるのが発達障害、でも苦手なことでもやらなきゃいけないことはたくさんあるよね。じゃぁどう工夫すれば出来るか、やりやすいか一緒に考えようか」と話し、一緒に考えています。
◇
１５日日曜日はお盆のためコラムは休載します。次回は２０日金曜日からの掲載となります。
＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞
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