連載：アサーション【３】

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

連載も３回目となりました。今回はアサーションスキルについてです。

対人スキルや感情マネジメントは練習すれば誰でも必ず上達することができます。アサーションスキルも同じです。

アサーションスキルに大切なことは、

●自分自身で自分の気持ちや考えを正確に捉え、自分が感じていること（感情）を把握する。

●相手はもちろん、周囲の状況を観察する。相手の状況や行動を具体的に描写する。

●自分の考えや気持ち（要求・希望）を感情的にならず、正直に明確に表現するスキル。

●言葉（文字）以外のシグナルを活用する。→視覚聴覚といったノンバーバルコミュニケーションスキル。
視覚的→表情、眼差し、身振り手振り、態度や姿勢。
聴覚的→声の大きさ、高低、速さ、話し方
＋話をする空間（物理的）、相手との距離、話をする場所の静かさ。

また、話す内容（言葉）と表情が一致していることも大事で、これにより相手の気持ちが伝わりやすくなります。深刻な話をしているのに、ニヤニヤしながら大袈裟なアクション付きで話されたらどうでしょうか？

相手を理解するための“聴く”スキル

自分の考えや気持ち、意見をいの一番に主張するのではなく、相手の気持ちや考えを聴く姿勢を持つ。（普段、職場などでは意識していないと案外できていないことが多い）

共感的に聴き、３Ｄ（だって・でも・だけど）で返さない、批判しない、話を被らせない、適切に質問を挟む、沈黙を恐れない。

以上がアサーションスキルです。簡単そうですが、意識しないと自分の癖が出てしまいます。

日常的に意識すること、これが肝です。そうすれば誰でも必ず上達することができます。

次回はさまざまな表現から私たちはどのような心理状態になるのか、なぜアサーティブになれないのか？を考えていきます。

◇

＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞

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