アサーションのさまざまな手法【2】

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

早速ですが前回に引き続き、4つのステップについてお話しします。

  • Describe(描写する)

まず解決しよう、したいと考えている課題に対し、相手の現状や行動を客観的に描写した上で、“事実のみ”を相手に伝えます。事実のみを伝えるのが目的ですから、そこに自分の感情や考えを含めず、また憶測で話を進めないことが大切です。自分の感情や考え、憶測を含むと、相手に正しい情報が伝わりにくいというデメリットがあります。

  • Express(説明する)

Expressでは描写した内容に対し、自分の考えや意見、感じていることを伝えます。素直に自分の考えや感じたことを伝えていくわけですが、考えや感情を押し付けるような表現をしないことを心がけます。相手を否定したり攻撃的な表現にならないように意識し、注意することが重要になります。

  • Suggest(提案する)

ここではDescribe、Expressからの流れで、相手に対し課題解決するためのアイデアや代替案などを提案します。それと同時に、相手に対応してもらいたいことや承諾してもらいたいことを“具体的に”伝えます。あくまで提案なので、強制したり命令するようなニュアンスは絶対に含めないことが一番大切です。

  • Choose(選択する)

相手がこちら側の提案を受け入れた場合、受け入れなかった場合、それぞれの場合の結果や選択肢を伝えます。こちらの提案がすべて受け入れられるのがベストですが、ビジネスシーンにおいてそれは稀ではないでしょうか。ExpressとSuggestを何度か行ったり来たりするかもしれないことを踏まえ、プランはいくつか用意しておくと思いますが、そこにも落とし穴が存在します。

互いの思惑を擦り合わせる時に“何とか受けてほしい”側と“条件さえ合えば”の側に分かれます。よりイライラしやすいのは“受けてほしい”側なので、話をするうちにその焦りやイライラが雰囲気として伝わってしまうと(感情を含めた話し方になってしまう)、どれだけDESC法に則って話をしていても、まったく意味を成しません。

人は自分に対し“丁寧に”“誠実に”“素直に”話をしてくれている人に好感を持ちます。口に出さないノンバーバルな部分にも気を配り、相手に対し一挙手一投足向き合っていくその先に、DESC法が活かされてくるのだと考えています。

<運営会社:Jiyuuku Inc.

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