意識が高い人と意識高い系ウザイ人

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

「もっと〇〇だったら」「ここをこうできれば」「あの時〇〇しとけば・・・」と、過去を振り返りグダグダ悩み、足掻く生き物が人間です。

「あいつはポジティブだからなぁ」「私はネガティブだからダメ・・・」などと耳にしますが、本来誰しも両面持ち合わせているものではないでしょうか。

過去の経験、場面や気持ちの持ち方、捉え方、その時々のストレスをどの程度ストレスコーピングができるのかなども影響し、ポジティブ、ネガティブの割合が変化するものだと思っているのです。

私自身、決してネガティブ寄りではありませんが、だからと言ってポジティブ絶対主義（原理主義？）でもありません。

何かとポジティブ＝善、ネガティブ＝悪、と捉えられがちですが、本当にそうなのでしょうか？

例えば、不安を感じやすく、失敗が怖くてなかなか一歩が踏み出せずグズグズ悩みネガティブな人。

見方を変えれば、いろいろなことを細かく考え、繊細でとても慎重な人、だとも考えられませんか。

いつまでも踏み出せず不安にばかり包まれていると、それはそれで困ったことになってしまいますが、

そもそも人にはその人のペースというものがある

ものですし、それを完全無視して（尊重せずに）、良かれと無意識に尻を叩く（優しく）というのは『小さな親切、大きなお世話』にもなりうるウザイ行為になるのです。

ゴシップ雑誌にありそうなタイトルの【意識高い系ウザイ人】ですが、実際に私が経験したことからお話しします。

◇

彼女はとても上昇志向が強く、いつも何にでも全力投球で、「もっともっと」を求めるエネルギッシュな人でした。自己啓発セミナーや能力アップセミナーに通い、啓発本やハウツー本をせっせと読んでは実行に移し、「コレは！」と思ったものは誰かれ構わず積極的に薦める人。

ここまで極端でなくても、啓発本マニアはいますよね（笑）本棚には次々と出版される『稼げる人がやっている〇〇の習慣』だとか『できる人になるには〇〇をやれ』みたいな本がズラリ。

いや、いいのです。誰がどんな読書傾向であろうと。問題はそこではありませんから。

あれこれ手を出すうちに自分にマッチするものと出会い、上手くいったとすれば誰かに薦めたくもなるでしょう。本当にその人のためを思い、オススメしてきてくれることもあるのでしょう、たまには。

でも、あまり必要としていない（考えてもなければやりたいとも思っていない）ことを、「あなたのためを思って」を大義名分にして、延々と薦めてこられるのは、大きなお世話の保険勧誘、甚だ迷惑な宗教勧誘、一歩間違えれば犯罪になりうるネットワークビジネス勧誘に似ているところを感じませんか？

実際、「〇〇しなきゃ！絶対〇〇したらいいって！」「あなたは〇〇だからダメなの、△△してみれば？」「あーダメダメ！それじゃちっともポジティブじゃない」とダメ出しばかりされ、地味にムッとしたことを覚えています。ちなみに、その相手に何かを相談したことは一度もありません（笑）

「一緒にセミナー（啓発系）に行けば生き方変わるって！」と啓発セミナーに引っ張り出されて、何故か大宇宙と交信させられたり（できない）、体育会系の暑苦しいノリで気合いの話ばかりされたり（気持ちは氷点下に冷え冷え）したこともあります。

その結果・・・。

繊細ではない私でも、彼女の顔を見ること、声を聞くことが苦痛になり、全力で避けるようになってしまいました。完全に苦手意識を持ってしまった、ということです。

私は彼女を尊敬していましたし、そのエネルギッシュな生き方を羨ましく思う部分もありましたが、だからといって、“彼女のようになりたい”や“彼女のやり方を採り入れ、変わりたい”と思っていたわけではありません。望んでもいないことを“あなたのためになるから”と、彼女のペースで無理矢理薦められた結果、ありがたいを大きく上回る“鬱陶しい人”になってしまったのです。

最初は幾重にもオブラートに包んでやんわりと迷惑を伝えましたし、あまりの伝わらなさ具合に、直球で迷惑だと抗議したこともあります。

しかし、自分の学んだやり方で上手くいった経験を持つ彼女は「あなたを思って」が前面に出て、“こんなにもあなたを思ってるから薦めてるのに”と、飽くまで善意であり好意だと思い込んでいるので、どうやっても伝わらないのです。

彼女の目には、拒否する私が“あなたを思ってるからなのに！私の気持ちをわかってくれない！”と映ったようでした。仲違いする気はありませんでしたが、私のペースや考え、意思を無視した彼女の押し付けを拒否したことから関係に溝を生み、関わりが薄くなっていきました。

意識が高いこと自体はとても良いことだと思いますし、志高く努力を重ねていくことも素晴らしいと思います。しかし、“あなたにとってベストで素晴らしいもの”が他者にはそうとは限らないのです。それを確認もなく他者にグイグイ薦めてくるのは如何なものか？

意思を尊重し、ペースに考慮し、押し付けでなければ、話をしているうちにひょっとしたら興味を持ってくれるかもしれません。持ってくれなければ潔く諦め、興味を示した時に“あなたのため”などというインチキ臭い耳障りの良い言葉を使わずに話をしてみる、これで十分だと思うのです。

◇

＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞

「意識が高い人と意識高い系ウザイ人」への74件のフィードバック

  1. You are in reality a good webmaster. The web site loading speed is
    incredible. It seems that you are doing any unique trick.
    Furthermore, the contents are masterpiece.
    you’ve performed a wonderful job on this topic! Similar here:
    e-commerce and also here: Sklep

  2. Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted
    keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you
    know of any please share. Thank you! You can read similar art here: E-commerce

  3. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my
    website to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results.
    If you know of any please share. Thanks! I saw similar art here:
    Link Building

  4. Wow, awesome weblog structure!
    How lengthy have you ever been blogging for?
    you make blogging look easy. The full look of your website is magnificent, as well as the content material!
    You can see similar here prev
    next
    and those was wrote by Elliot98.

  5. Wow, marvelous blog format!
    How long have you ever been blogging for? you
    made running a blog look easy. The entire glance of your web site
    is fantastic, as neatly as the content! I read similar here prev
    next and that was wrote by
    Crystle07.

  7. I will right away grasp your rss feed as I can not in finding your e-mail subscription link or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me know so that I could subscribe. Thanks!

  9. Can I simply just say what a relief to uncover an individual who genuinely understands what they are discussing on the net. You actually know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people ought to read this and understand this side of the story. I can’t believe you aren’t more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  11. This is a very good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Brief but very precise info… Many thanks for sharing this one. A must read article!

  13. Very good article. I definitely love this site. Continue the good work!

  14. Spot i’ll carry on with this write-up, I honestly think this website needs much more consideration. I’ll oftimes be again to read much more, appreciate your that information.

  15. Thanks , I’ve just been searching for info about this topic for a while and yours is the greatest I have found out so far. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the supply?

  16. Jeden Tag stellt man sich die Frage Was Koche Ich Heute?! Zerbrechen Sie sich nicht den Kopf, besuchen Sie uns am besten direkt auf unserer Webseite uns lassen Sie sich inspirieren

  18. Hi, I think your site may be having web browser compatibility issues. When I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Other than that, great website!

  19. Spot lets start work on this write-up, I actually think this website requirements considerably more consideration. I’ll apt to be once more you just read a lot more, thank you for that information.

  21. Aw, i thought this was a really nice post. In concept I must place in writing such as this additionally – taking time and actual effort to make a great article… but what things can I say… I procrastinate alot and also by no indicates seem to go carried out.

  23. My spouse and i felt now peaceful Michael could carry out his survey out of the precious recommendations he had from your own web pages. It is now and again perplexing to simply continually be releasing instructions many people could have been trying to sell. And now we do understand we now have the website owner to thank because of that. The entire explanations you have made, the straightforward blog menu, the relationships you assist to instill – it’s got many extraordinary, and it is making our son in addition to us imagine that that subject is exciting, and that’s particularly indispensable. Thank you for the whole lot!

  26. I’m very happy to uncover this web site. I wanted to thank you for your time for this wonderful read!! I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and i also have you saved as a favorite to check out new information in your web site.

  27. A person essentially assist to make significantly posts I might state. That is the first time I frequented your web page and thus far? I amazed with the analysis you made to create this actual post amazing. Fantastic process!

  29. You made some good points there. I checked on the web to learn more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this web site.

  36. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d without a doubt donate to this superb blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  37. That is an extremely amazing powerful resource that you’re offering and you simply provide it away cost-free!! I that can match discovering websites that view the particular property value supplying you with a wonderful learning resource for zero cost. We truly dearly loved examining this page. Enjoy it!

  40. After study a handful of the web sites for your web site now, and i also genuinely such as your technique for blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark site list and you will be checking back soon. Pls look at my site as well and let me know if you agree.

  45. When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new surveys are added- checkbox now when a comment is added I purchase four emails using the same comment. Can there be that is it is possible to eliminate me from that service? Thanks!

  48. Hello! I merely wish to make a enormous thumbs up for the fantastic information you might have here with this post. I am returning to your website to get more detailed soon.

  50. Spot lets start work on this write-up, I actually believe this amazing site requirements much more consideration. I’ll apt to be once again to read a great deal more, many thanks for that info.

  51. I want to show some thanks to the writer for bailing me out of this setting. Just after researching throughout the search engines and meeting ways which were not pleasant, I thought my entire life was well over. Living minus the answers to the problems you have resolved as a result of your site is a serious case, and the ones that would have negatively damaged my career if I hadn’t noticed your web blog. Your main know-how and kindness in handling every part was priceless. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had not come across such a subject like this. I can also at this point look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time very much for the skilled and sensible guide. I will not be reluctant to suggest your web sites to any person who should get guidelines about this topic.

  53. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

  56. I’ve been absent for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this website. Thanks , I’ll try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your web site?

  59. hi!,I love your writing so much! percentage we keep up a correspondence more approximately your article on AOL? I require an expert in this space to unravel my problem. May be that’s you! Looking forward to see you.

  62. Aw, this was an extremely nice post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a great article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.

  63. I don’t know if it’s just me or if everyone else encountering problems with your website. It appears like some of the text on your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them too? This could be a problem with my browser because I’ve had this happen before. Thank you

  65. This is really serious, You’re a significantly professional article writer. I have signed up with your feed and also watch for finding your marvelous write-ups. What’s more, I’ve shared your web blog of our own myspace.

  66. I do agree with all of the ideas you have presented in your post. They are very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are very short for beginners. Could you please extend them a little from next time? Thanks for the post.

  67. Everything is very open with a very clear description of the challenges. It was really informative. Your website is useful. Many thanks for sharing!

  68. You’ve made some really good points there. I checked on the net to learn more about the issue and found most people will go along with your views on this website.

  70. This site certainly has all of the information I needed about this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

  73. Fantastic goods from you, man. I have be aware your stuff prior to and you are simply too magnificent. I actually like what you’ve obtained right here, really like what you’re stating and the way in which during which you assert it. You make it entertaining and you continue to care for to stay it smart. I cant wait to learn much more from you. That is really a wonderful website.

  74. I really appreciate this post. I have been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thx again

コメントを残す

メールアドレスが公開されることはありません。 ※ が付いている欄は必須項目です