他者の気遣いや無意識の厚意に感謝するという小さな当たり前の姿勢

メンタル・イデア・ラボの本城ハルです。

感謝は強制されるものではなく内側から出る自発的な感情ですから、誰に対してもどんな時にも周りに平身低頭感謝しまくりましょう・・・なんてことはこれっぽっちも思いません。

ですが、他者の“厚意”からくる行動を当たり前に思い、感謝しないどころか自分が想像（勝手に期待？）していたとおりに他者が行動を起こさないと不満に感じ、文句を垂れたり酷いとぶちギレる人が増えたように思います。余裕の無さやイライラしやすいのはコロナのせいもあるのかもしれませんが、他者に攻撃的な気持ちを持ちやすいのはまたちょっと違う気がします。

例えば、余程いじわるな人でなければ、自分が先に乗り込んだエレベーターに後から人が乗ろうといているのにわざわざ【閉】ボタンを連打して扉に挟もうとはしないと思います（笑）でも『あ、乗ろうとしているんだな』と【開】ボタンを押すのは頼まれたわけでもなくても、挟まれないようにという“気遣い”“厚意”からくる行動です。

「乗ろうとしているんだから【開】ボタンを押しておくのは当たり前でしょ！」と考えたアナタは、それは「〜すべき」思考が混じるちょっと偏った考え方です。確かに扉を開けておくのはマナーかもしれませんが、やってもらって当たり前、やるべきこと、という決まり事ではありませんよね。

私でも自分が先に乗り込んだ時に階数ボタンの前に立っていれば当然【開】ボタンを押して待っていますし、奥に階数ボタンがないエレベーターでは「何階ですか？」と尋ねることもあります。毎回ではありませんが。

自分が逆の立場なら「３階お願いします／押してもらえますか？」とお願いします。恐らく多くの人はそうしているだろうと思います。

ここで偏った自分本位な考えを持つ人は、自分から「○階お願いします」と意思表示をしなくても「フツー何階に行くか聞くもんでしょ、階数ボタンに近いんだし」と考えます。そのような考えを持つ心理の共通として、〇〇すべき、という行き過ぎた白黒思考だったり、他者の価値観や思考を認めない自他境界の曖昧な人に多く見られるようです。あなたとまったく同じ考えや感情を持つ人は“いない”と考えましょう。

たまたま同じエレベーターに乗り合わせただけの真っ赤な他者で、明らかなエレベーター係（今時いる方が少ない）でもない一般人に、階数ボタンの前にいるというだけで、何故そこまで他者を気遣うことを“当たり前に求めるのか”です。飽くまでも任意の行為を無意識に義務の行為と勘違いしているか、日頃から他者を見下している愚か者です。

「ありがとうございます。」「助かります。」

毎回いちいち口にしなくていい場面でも、この気持ちは大切にしたいものです。

常々『ありがとう』『ごめんなさい』は人間関係をまろやかにする魔法の言葉だと思っていますが、『ありがとう』と言われて嫌な気持ちになる人はまずいません。

「（私のために）ありがとう」と伝えること、ありがとうと口に出さないまでも、ありがとうの気持ちを持つこと。相手との距離が近くなればなるほど忘れがちなことですが、何より大切なことではないでしょうか。

思っているだけでは伝わりません。どんなことも「言わなくてもわかる（わかってる）だろう」という考えは改めて、ニッコリ「ありがとう！」。

立場に関係なく気持ちいい人間関係のコツかもしれませんね。

◇

＜運営会社：Jiyuuku Inc.＞

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